Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
