I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
