so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
