I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
