We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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