I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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