My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
