Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He has the fingertips of a God
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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