break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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