Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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