and next time when you feel me up, do it right
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize