seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize