Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
