White coat. Heels.
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He felt like a one man threesome
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
