careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
