I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You are the jesus of drinking
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
