I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
