Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
