I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
