Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
