I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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