escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
