Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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