She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
