I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
