Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
this will be a night to untag.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
