I love black thongs
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
