Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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