I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
id be glad to
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
