u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
