im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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