Screwed.edu
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
