Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize