while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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