Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
