I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
