Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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