i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
