I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
