Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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