yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
