She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
