Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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