I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
