I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Damn victory sex feels great
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
