She said her name was "party"
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
