My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
