he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
