In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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