Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
