Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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