first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize