i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
