did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
