I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize