Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
do nipples grow back?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
