So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
