You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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