the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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