Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
