so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
