R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
