I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
