You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
