I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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