I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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