Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
porn star boner night. come get it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
