so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
