you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
