you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
