It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
