I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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