Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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