You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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