its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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