Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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